Our Top 5 predictions for Email Marketing in 2014

As the year draws to a close we asked our crack team of email futurologists what they expect to happen in email marketing over the next 12 months:

The inbox finally becomes sentient.

The human-mailbox intersection has been widely touted as the next stage in the evolution of the marketing email channel. As 2013 draws to a close there are already reports of inboxes being cloned from the DNA of some AOL users.

Wearable tech blows up the email landscape.

Unsubstantiated sightings of young men wearing hand crafted email inboxes as bibs were reported as early as October 2013. The email scientific community tentatively suggests that March 2013 will see the Onesie replaced with the Inbox Bib as the go to ironic vestement for the young bohemian about town.

The Spam folder finally breaks away from the traditional mailbox.

It is expected that by Q2 2014 the spam folder will no longer be tied to a mailbox. Spam folders will roam free in the wild. It is unknown how they will feed or transport themselves, but according to an unnamed source “some sort of travelator” will be deployed by the herds of roaming spam folders.

Responsive email design finally breaks free from the shackles of mobile devices.

Responsive design begins to adapt to mood and other ambient factors. For example a work email opened by accident on a smartphone at the weekend will leap from the handset and apologise profusely for disturbing the recipient. We’ve seen a youtube clip of a Responsive-X14 designed email that actually stopped a slice of toast from falling buttered side down.

ISPs will take audience engagement metrics to the logical next level.

Inbox placement finally comes of age. True engagement will require the reader of the email to sit up straight and take notes. A triggered follow up email will be sent to the reader asking a series of tough questions about the content. Failure to respond accurately will mean all subsequent emails are directed to the spam folder and an electric shock administered each time an email is moved from the junk folder to the inbox.

We’re really looking forward to 2014 and hope to check off some of these developments as the year progresses.